What is Midlife Crisis and what does it have to do with marriage, to begin with?
So, what is Midlife Crisis and what does it have to do with marriage, to begin with? Many people’s characters alter and their productivity begins to diminish around the age of 35- 50. People during that age start to be aware of their limitations and that their lives are becoming more limited with growing restrictions they start showing signs of dissatisfaction with their quality of life, doubt their past & future decisions, and ponder what should they do to change that
A story to understand how women in their Midlife Crisis can behave sometimes. Aisha, a middle-aged woman, began doubting herself at the age of 45 when she noticed that she’s been gaining weight, her hair turning grey and she could no longer control nor maintain her physique as she did in the past. These changes, as well as other symptoms such as continuous exhaustion and pain, concerned Aisha, prompting her to seek out ways to prevent exacerbating her illness and regaining her agility, which she did by exercising and adhering to particular diets. “I started blaming myself for not taking care of my health when I reached the age of 45 and pain began to creep into my body and exhaustion took hold of me. I was astonished by the state of internal and outward sagging, things I had been through, and I began to notice the changes in my face, as well as the new aging lines, from constant anxiety. This has left me psychologically overwhelmed and disappointed, especially because this period coincided with my departure from my job”. Aisha fantasizes about restoring her young looks and energy, lamenting the fact that this time has passed leading her to a deteriorated state of being “In my youth, I was concerned with my beauty and how trendy I should be,” Aisha explains, “but nowadays, my health comes first, followed by my beauty. Aisha dislikes and does not do plastic surgery, believing that natural methods such as nutrition and skincare are the safest and most successful. In terms of makeup, she is unconcerned, knowing that she uses a little of it now and then to feel beautiful and young, and her husband, unfortunately, failed to notice these small changes, which worsened when she entered menopause a few years later, and this situation manifested itself in disturbing psychological disorders, as she began to feel tense, tight, and irritable. «I could no longer bear myself after menopause, and I entered a tough psychological condition, contaminated by a lot of weariness, tension, and hot and cold flashes,” Aisha explains. I cannot deny that whenever I recollect recollections of my youth and remember how my physique and look were, I regret what has gone and fantasize about going back in time to make up for many of the mistakes I made and to accomplish other things that I ignored. She became self-centered, preoccupied with her well-being at the expense of her husband’s, rushing into new decisions based on no reasonable basis, and looking for fulfillment outside of her partnership. Aisha explains: “I began to blame my unhappy situation on my husband, punishing him for years of love and sacrifice. Allowing myself to hit rock bottom on a mental, physical, and spiritual level. With my spouse and children, I became verbally aggressive. Aisha adores her husband and children, but she felt confused and unhappy until she recognized the signs of a midlife crisis and sought treatment and support from her friends and family. So, what are the symptoms of a Midlife Crisis in women? Empty Nest syndrome. You don’t know what to do with yourself now that the kids have left the house.
1. Sexual withdrawal. You don’t want to have sex with your spouse. This may be because you feel emotionally distant from him. Or you may feel uncomfortable with changes in your aging body and you fear that you look less attractive and that he will lose interest.
2. Having an affair. Your attention has turned to someone outside the marriage. The infidelity might be emotional (the nice guy at work), or online (inappropriate chatting & conversations), or physical.
3. Social life is on a sudden upswing. Whether it is a book club night or a party on the weekend with the girls, you always seem to have something going on – just not with your spouse.
4. Your spouse complains that you are not having fun. You no longer laugh at his jokes. You go out to dinner and you seem bored. You are frustrated that “we never have fun anymore,” but not sure what new fun would look like.
5. Questioning all your past choices. You feel your regrets are unsettling: you’re starting to doubt your marriage, your choice to become a mother, your job and the list goes on.
6. Exercise obsessively. Trying to find the fountain of youth and become worried if you can’t get to the gym every day.
7. Doing things that seem unlike you. Dressing younger, going to Happy Hour with friends, etc. While there’s nothing wrong with doing any of these things, the fact that you never did them before strikes your spouse as odd.
8. You don’t know if you still love him. Or love him but not “in love” with him. It’s devastating to hear that; but remember, you’re questioning everything right now, not just your relationship.
9. You’re becoming moody. You seem depressed and anxious. Everything around you irritates you. You start picking fights, seemingly over nothing.
10. Develop an addiction whether it is food, alcohol, drugs, cosmetic surgeries, risky affairs, or even just Candy Crush, your drug of choice is ruining your life
11. Making rash decisions. Quitting your job, going on a long trip to figure things out. Or thinking of divorce.
These symptoms can influence the way you perceive yourself and your relationship with your partner unconsciously. Either it is true or not you need more investigation in the coming areas: (Yourself -Your partner- Your marriage)
However, it can also mean an open eye on how things can improve to a greater level in communicating and connecting with your spouse by regaining affection and happiness in your marriage again.